chou chope

now let's be clear, she was as benevolent a slave master as there has ever been...a wonderful cook and the kind of open mind that you could always turn to... my mom was right though... childhood is slavery...

today was my first mentor meeting with katie...katie and i were matched for the mentor program last year...the mentor program at our elementary school is quite nice, children who are struggling are matched with an adult from the business community...i spend an hour each week at the reading room with katie...we talk and she reads me a number of books...

katie is the most beautiful little girl...she has a page boy haircut, straight stringy brown hair...giant brown eyes...and long gangly pre teen legs that seem to imply she'll grow to seven feet tall..ten years old, and full of wonder..

today was tough for me...i was worried about katie, she failed last year and was held back..i hoped it wouldn't dampen her spirit, and sure enough, nothing can.. i thought she was never going to let go when she hugged me..she was so excited to see me back, and although i was dreading it, all my self centered lack of want to be there dissipated when i saw her smile at me..

katie and my oldest son are 4 years apart in age, but they both read on the second grade level.. my son is currently at 355% of the standard, meaning he's reading more than three times the books expected and passing the comprehension tests that accompany those books..katie on the other hand, struggles to read each sentence and searches the illustrations to find comprehension...

today being our first meeting, we worked through a getting to know you worksheet...favorite colors, favorite foods...katie's favorite holiday is the fourth of july... why? because the fourth is when katie's whole family gets together at her great great grandma's house...oddly, her great great is only 60...i've been doing that math all day and still can't make sense of it...

part of my sadness over katie has been her family involvement...they never showed to the meet the mentor dinner last year, and i felt rooked..i had booked close to 40 hours with their daughter at the time and i was sore about sitting through the big family shindig by myself..

not to mention, the girl shows such promise but appears to be fending for herself at the ripe ole age of ten..though a truly stunning natural beauty, her clothes are normally mismatched as if she picks her own ensembles...torn, ratty, filthy and smelly are the only words to describe her clothing..she's a real life rag doll..

katie lives with her dad in a trailer in the poorest part of our community...when you ask her about her mom, she says, "which one?" when i met her last year, both her moms were in prison..just what are the chances?

the step mom made it to a halfway house last april and they celebrated by getting married...her real mom is still in prison...katie gets to see her on saturdays, every once in awhile...she hasn't a clue why she's in there, neither do i...

today she read me curious george, wemberly worries, and where the wild things are..the hour went by, but not quickly, there's never enough time like that for katie...my greatest hope is that i can have some lasting positive impact in her life, but the realistic side of me doesn't think it's possible...i don't know how to free someone from their gene pool..do you?

true's class is right across the hall from the reading room...so i walked over when i was done to see how his day was going.. true wasn't there, he was running an errand for his teacher, but she told me his conduct was good and pointed me to his desk to show me how hard he had been working...

funny thing, all the first grade desks are arranged in quads...four 6 year olds facing each other to tackle the arduous tasks..not my true...his desk sits facing the wall, isolated, by the chalkboard, inches from the teacher's desk...it's covered to the hilt with true's projects in the making..books and papers gaping out of every nook in the desk and overflowing to all areas surrounding... looked just like my desk...

when true returned he hugged me and was so happy to see me there...all his friends called me mom and when i left, they all wanted to know why true's mom gets to come to school...

my mini me...i spent my life within a ruler's reach of the teacher's desk...poor true..as i was walking to my car, i realized...i don't know how to free him from his gene pool either...the boy is enslaved, as well..