October 24, 2006

status foe

no more yesterdays, ever.

for commission only salespeople everywhere, i would like to tell you overbearing fuckwads to piss off.

no, i didn't go to UT business school, and i really am not impressed that you did.

no, i don't enjoy conjuring up investment strategies for you and your family just so you have someone to practice your speaker phone bitch match skills. don't want my help? don't fucking ask.

no, i didn't learn in the first week of business school that the market was going to edge on up through christmas and pull back at the first of the year. you mean they teach that? first week, huh? i must have still been high at the frat house. oh yeah, that was you.

yes, size fucking matters. the size of your portfolio matters more than the size of your dick. seriously. you can compensate for the broken mini wiener you were cursed with, but i'd love know how you'll compensate for your wasted fortune? government handouts are for illegal immigrants, have some fucking respect for yourself.

and finally, please don't think you've hurt me by assaulting my recommendations, my thought process, or my concern for your well-being. all that matters is you and that ego of yours. far be it for me to let my doing my job get in the way of you doing it for me. i don't know what i was thinking.

please. you have a full time occupation and there is a reason you chose it. if you want mine, we're hiring. let's stop all the verbal judo though, because let's face it, being in my position means dealing with fucktards like you.

see, no one's jealous now.

Posted by shoe at October 24, 2006 05:00 PM | TrackBack

Don't hold back! Tell us how you really feel!

BTW, were you talking about Zonker?

Posted by: Denny at October 24, 2006 10:24 PM

I'm sensing a little frustration. In with Anger, out with Love.

There... does that help? No?

Wanna go shoot some rifles?

Posted by: RSM at October 25, 2006 05:24 AM

Have some pie, it always helps, then, shoot stuff! Sorry you have to deal with such assholes. But look at it this way, you could be a lawyer - like me *runs away*

Posted by: oddybobo at October 25, 2006 07:30 AM

Deeeeeeeeeep breaths. Now, go get drunk.

Posted by: Kristin at October 25, 2006 12:21 PM

This post reminded me why I became a mathematician. I work alone. Away from most assholes. Usually. And when they are an asshole, I can tell them to their face. And I do.

Sorry your day sucked. And as I am apt to say and my readers know this, "maybe he'll get hit by a truck..." It always helps me. ;-)

Posted by: Bou at October 25, 2006 09:13 PM

Remind me to hit you up the next time I need somebody to hear the cold, hard truth. Damn!

Posted by: Dana at October 25, 2006 09:32 PM

Glad you have a blog and can vent so you don't have to run over these ________ with your car!

Posted by: zapatamama at October 25, 2006 10:44 PM

Ouch. I feel your pain. Can I go ahead and print this out and use it? It's perfect, just change a few words to work in my situation and, well, it's poetry. Flat out poetry.

Still, ouch. Damn, mean people suck!

Posted by: Tammi at October 26, 2006 06:48 AM

That size-mattering thing is good news to me (though to be candid, my portfolio isn't all that large either).

Posted by: Bob at October 26, 2006 06:54 AM

Is there someone I can beat up for you?
Of course, you can always do what I do, secretly revel/gloat in the fact that you are so much smarter than those turdheads!

Posted by: holder at October 27, 2006 06:30 PM

Dealing with arrogant people is one thing.

Dealing with flat out unadulterated idiots that tack ASAP on to the end of every freakin 'email they write is another.

The first will eventually realize they were wrong.

The second has not a clue.

60 emails to update one file on a web server... Ahhh, it's a long story and this is your rant...

Posted by: RedNeck at October 27, 2006 06:47 PM

I loves me a good anti-work rant.

Posted by: zonker at October 27, 2006 08:48 PM