August 02, 2005

every day low, everyday...

bad day at work... bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, understand? the cherry? my weekly unavoidable trip to walmart..

you know i'm a good capitalist, right? well i don't hate walmart, not all the our small town, having a super walmart is like having the circus in town every day of the year. long hike in from the searing hot parking lot (are there any close spots?)..bright squealing in delight, and some in agony....impassible mazelike corridors, and of course, freaks aplenty..

however, the personal hygiene is over here and the milk is wayyyy back over there, and before you know it, like vegas, you emerge and you've lost hours of your getting that back..

true suggested tonight that we call it "tall fart" since it's so important to us and it stinks so bad...i liked that, although i had to closet my true feelings..can't show i endorse his usage of the word fart, give an inch and all that..

i've had a lot of cashier positions in my employment history..and i always love to mess with cashiers..especially at tall fart..i've made a study of it folks, and i don't think you will find a more bland humorless employee than those that lurk behind the registers wearing the "every day low"'s more telling than i think they know..

here are my favorite cash out jokes..which i have now delivered tens of times apiece..never have i received any sign of understanding beyond a tilted head and a blank it me?

Talfart employee "that'll be $109.23"
me, "oh, i don't pay..i have my paycheck direct deposited here the first of every month. just put it on my tab"

Talfart employee, "that'll be $82.40"
me, "uuuuhhhh, nope...that's too much...i'll give you fifty bucks for everything"

Talfart employee, "that'll be $136.18"
me, "that's a lot of money..will you throw in your vest and name badge?"

any suggestions? c'mon, play stump the cashier with me..leave your ideas in the comments and if it elicits the same dumbfounded, non-humored response mine get, i'll mail you a prize!!

i'll be there anyway, depositing my paycheck..and looking to get the most bang for my buck.

Posted by shoe at August 2, 2005 10:20 PM | TrackBack