June 15, 2005

se ha ido a la playa...

yeppers, y'all, i'm outta here....

did that sound excited? good...i'm going to south padre island for an annual meeting. they like to have our meetings at beaches, golf courses, ranches...beautiful places in general so when the meeting ends, vacation begins...

now it does eliminate any sane person's ability to learn anything at the meetings. generally the speaker is standing in front of a giant picture window while he drones on and on about ratios and the like. but because you love your corporate papa for putting you there, you want to be a good steward and learn something...

they are extremely smart. while we're not learning anything at our meeting, our families are off frolicking, with the whole corporate clan, drinking the kool aid. and i do mean the kool aid.

ever since law suit mania started, what a decade ago?? someone tell me...anyway, back then, we- broke underpaid newbie employees- came for the free drinks...no mo...no corporate sponsored sin, none, zero tolerance. for all you back biting fuckers out there that brought on the bullshit regulation, i wish to say thank you, but of course, i mean, fuck you!! i didn't want the sarcasm lost on such an important point.

i loved the old days.. when you were allowed to get loaded and blow off steam with a bunch of folks that were dealing with similar issues...it really was truly therapeutic. yeah, most the evenings' conversations grew more lewd by the rounds, but what good party isn't marked by wild progressive dialogue?

first came sexual harassment...no more titty bars, folks, no dirty jokes, no discussing whether you wax, shave or let it grow wild

then, i think, came my favorite, hostile working environment...no more expressing any outward frustration during working hours or in corporate company, no cussing, no slamming the phone down, no negative vibes, folks, you could scare someone.

then came financial perks, let's make this one easy...50 bucks, from you or to you...that is all...anyone can be viewed a client, so any gifts you give or receive, go ahead and send in a letter of documentation to the legal team. better to disclose it than to get caught red handed spending more and get canned...

then came the other perks, no more ball games, no more golf, no more fishing, no more fancy dinners. any one of those things would cost more than 50 bucks, so let's just cut it out completely

and finally, the saddest day of all, the end of open bar. i think the year was 2002 when i walked up to the bar before the big awards finale and asked for a bloody mary. the bartender did a fabulous job but then he turned to me and said something so offensive, and so cold, i will never forgive him and i will never forget the honest uncaring look in his eyes either..that'll be five bucks, mam..

yeah, ten years of progressive regulation and where has it gotten us? well, we are more family friendly these days, almost like disneyland, really, without the huge entrance fee.

but if i had to be honest, i wish i was heading to the beach and it was 1994. i'd get drunk and tan and learn whether bob's wife shaves or waxes...i'd gamble with the boys in a cigar smoke filled room...we would stumble back across the mexican border at dawn, pockets full of chicklets, tequila freedom, how it washes away those client blues ... yes indeedy, and i tell you something people, we would all be better, more sold-out corporate peons if it were still the case..and i guarantee we would learn a lot more at the meetings.

just one woman's opinion...i'm gone to the beach now to drink the kool aid and possibly spike it.

afterthought: i'm definitely bringing a flask, i want to be good and liquored up when they announce the new regulations...prolly no more beach meetings, if i was a betting man

Posted by shoe at June 15, 2005 06:12 PM | TrackBack