chou chope

sorry, but my reality has whipsawed between too real and twilight zone since the boys have been gone. what's a mommy to do? venture out?...i tried that, and here's how it went..

went to see my friend the drink slinger at the ole waterin' hole. two men sat on either side of me. the first, to my right, was Dave (hack, cough, wheeze, what's your problem? dave)...he was the belligerent type. the guy to my left was scrumdillyumptious, my age and named will. had seen him before...

dave had me practically moved out to his ranch diapering his decrepid ancient parents and completely oblivious to the fact i wasn't listening to him (spurs were playing). he turned to me and in a quiet schmucky tone he asked, "is that your husband?" pointing to will.

did i mention that i don't think fast on my feet? lying at the time felt like the quickest out of all so with little to no hesitation, i said, "yep, that's him alright"

"Well, what's his name?" shit, i didn't have any idea...fuck, busted, ok, that's not my husband, that's another alcoholic, y'all should be properly introduced...

i said, "i don't know what i'm supposed to be calling him these days?"

at this point, dave drifted away and will became immediately interested. oh shit. i guess claiming a stranger as your husband comes off as a come on? i don't get out enough...

will said, "you're cute, don't i know you already?"

and i said, "yea, we met a couple of years ago at the inn of the hills" (it's a bar-a hotel too, but you go to the inn to drink)

he looked at me square in the eyes and asked, "did we spend some time together in the unisex bathroom there?"

HOLY SMOKES!!! no fucking way...even if i had "spent time in the unisex" with will, even as romantically as he tried to put it, i'm sure i would have still been offended...

ah again i say it, you, sweet wonderful you, blog love, i couldn't wait to get home to you. you are the freakin sanity bomb. i don't care what you think, you rock and i love you...

sleep tight, nighty night