chou chope

i find myself again looking at a situation and wondering why...how can it be? i have a systemic, recurrent problem with suspension of disbelief. i believe, people. i love the ungettable get, the thrill of the chase. i am persistent to a fault. you can not beat me. even if you win, i'll never lose. that's just a small part of what went wrong when i was programmed at the factory.

my coworker said i was disturbing her with my lack of grasp on reality. she wanted to know why i was so addicted to faraway people i've never met, yet i've been shunning the few live social outings i've been invited on. she specifically and repeatedly cited the blog world as the vacuous place where i hide out. she's right.

in my world, i feel overwhelmed often by the sheer gravity of real life. in the blog world, i can sit down with people from all over the planet, and imagine down to the morning dew how idyllic their worlds are, even if they don't see it that way.

so is it wrong to continually and knowingly choose to believe a perception which you know logically to defy reality? healthy outlook, probably not. more like secret debauchery, but we do what we have to do..