August 29, 2006

blue skies are going to drear up

alex, "what's this rain day called?"

me, "monday."

alex, "well, we had seven days of sun days, i know, because our class counted. but it's ok, us kids need the rain to feel better after so much sun."

us adults need it too. woke up to steady drizzle this morning. a sigh of relief, the yard might live.

now i'm off to face the downpour at the office. at least it's raining tbills up there. wish me luck.

Posted by shoe at 06:07 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 26, 2006

return of the weekend stripper

it has been nice to be home for a change. i've spent the last couple of weekends at my mom's in houston. she sold her house so we finally had to get motivated about collecting our childhood artifacts.

you can't believe the worthless shit i have been bringing home. but some things i think will bring great blog fodder if nothing more.

i didn't make it to houston this weekend as the boys had soccerfest, two games each. they both lost both of their games, but alex scored his team's only goal and true got to play goalie.

long time readers might remember that i have a weakness for stripping when money gets tight and wood grain is right. here is today's project, a couple of chairs i found deep in my mom's garage. one man's dooky is another man's diamonds. i'm not done, but check out the progress...



Posted by shoe at 08:50 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

August 23, 2006

the wait of the world

my hand stretched out, startled i awoke, the bed was wet. was it me? nope, dry as the badlands-but no kids in my bed, peculiar.

turns out the offender snuck in when i was asleep and then finding the accomodations much too jacuzziesque for sleeping, stripped himself of his pee soaked clothing and snuggled up, dry as a urine soaked bone, in his own cozy little bed and slept like a champ.

i hate starting a day like this. knowing i'm freaking cursed at the crack o day, waiting on it. two tons of responsibility pressing down on my chest.

by nine i was talking live with true teacher from the office of his school. seems, number one, he's loud. number two, he says inappropriate things in school. for example, the teacher asked, "where did you go this summer?" he replied, "to the bathroom." they read a book about a rabbit named robbie. there was an uproarious classroom discussion just after(thanks to guess who). true said robbie farted to make himself jump higher. and finally, when the teacher asked for words to describe robbie, true said he was an evil bunny.

not having read the book, i was struggling with the message. the delivery was also disturbing as it is only day five of the new school year and the teacher was getting all columbine on me over true's inappropriate usage of the word "evil" in school.

damn good adjective, if you ask me, but she wasn't asking. no, not at all. guess she doesn't see the president using the word. ever watch the news, lady? axis of evil?

but i digress, as i'm prone to do.

did i mention the water was shut off at my office? all day. yep, it was an undeclared showdown of sordids between my landlord and my neighboring tenant. good thing i was expecting high casualties today, because my bladder took it for the team.

anyhow, my day is droning on and on, much like this post, when i suddenly had an avalanche of fence sitters. just after lunch, my phone rings, and it's my cowboy fence sitter. he asks if i have a minute, comes down to my office and moves just under two million dollars to me.

i walk him out to the lobby where ANOTHER long time fence sitter is sitting just shooting the shit with red. we have a nice discussion in the lobby, with orders and the works. he leaves and then red informs me, my slip is showing.

sure enough, i look down and my early morning haze comes into sharp focus. since i couldn't find the short slip, i just pulled the long one halfway up my torso. classy. it's hanging, not just a little lace showing, but two full inches below my hemline. i laugh until my mascara runs, and then i call it a day.

and i am almost believing that all this waiting was purposeful--that the psychological weight of the world is just levity, nothing more.
spur smashed by colima boulder.JPG

Posted by shoe at 10:17 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 22, 2006

we have decided

after numerous emails and 5 hours on the phone, Zonker and I, (yes folks you read that right) have decided that we are saner than the rest of you psychos.

communication, forgiveness and an open heart = PEACE

Right, Zonker?

Posted by shoe at 08:04 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 17, 2006

awe, isn't that cute

zonk, c'mon buddy...don't be that way.

just because you're alone (and i mean literally, as in not a friend in the world) and scared and shaking like a newborn bunny, don't play like that. don't go away mad, stomping your feet and dragging your blanket.

be real, be honest with yourself. look inside and if you don't see one tenth the blog fodder i see, then go ahead and end it.

you lie about rob. he knew what a fucktard you are, he never hid that fact. just who do you think you're fooling? rob and i, as YOU FULL WELL KNOW, had many late night lengthy aol chats about you and he told me only this: you're a lanky IT guy with a blog. congratulations! it's as exciting as lawyer with a briefcase.

oh yeah, but we're all going to die cause you don't want blog anymore? drama queen, enough.

hellooooo?? archives, brother. nobody bought the closed comment thing. i've been in there for the last 6 hours and you are one sick little man, aren't you now? admit it!!

what have you become? whatever it is, it's got to be more entertaining than action item man. put up or shut up. really, cause that cwybaby stuff is making me want to shitcan your blog myself.

Posted by shoe at 10:20 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

blight baby cometh

hey, our most junior blown-eye is on the way.

text message at 11:04 central: "AM IN LABOR"

such brilliance!! that blight girl does know how to keep it short and sweet, does she not?

all my luck, love, prayers are in atlanta right now. i'm sure pete will keep us updated, but i have some keys so i'll try to update all ya'll over there later!!

UPDATE: kelley's baby is here!! born just past noon!! woot!! happy & healthy!

Posted by shoe at 11:06 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

i'm number one!!

and by the way, i'm absolutely made for a 5...seriously, t1g, we could really make a go of it, with my oneness and your fiveness. oh wait, i don't want to be in relationship, though. want to start something and not finish it? it would be great if you would just leave me alone already, for crying out loud. speaking of crying, i wonder when sensitive little zonquerito will get over his pity party?

check it out: (moved to extended entry)

holy cow!! i join the ranks of those freakishly amazed by this blog magic. what number are you?

There are 13 letters in your name. Those 13 letters total to 55 There are 5 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 1

The characteristics of #1 are: Initiating action, pioneering, leading, independent, attaining, individual.

The expression or destiny for #1:
A number 1 Expression denotes the skilled executive with keen administrative capabilities. You must develop the capacity to be a fine leader, sales executive, or promoter. You have the tools to become an original person with a creative approach to problem solving, and a penchant for initiating action. Someone may have to follow behind you to handle the details, but you know how to get things going and make things happen. You have a good mind and the ability to use it for your advancement. Because of these factors, you have much potential for achievement and financial rewards. Frequently, this expression belongs to one running a business or striving to achieve a level of accomplishment on ones talents and efforts. You have little need for much supervision, preferring to act on your own with little restraint. You are both ambitious and determined. Self-confident and self-reliant must be yours, as you develop a strong unyielding will and the courage of your convictions.

Although you fear loneliness, you want to be left alone. You fear routine and being in a rut. You often jump the gun because you are afraid of being left behind.

The negative attributes of the 1 Expression are egotism and a self-centered approach to life. This is an aggressive number and if it is over-emphasized it is very hard to live with. You do not have to be overly aggressive to fulfill your destiny. The 1 has a natural instinct to dominate and to be the boss; adhering to the concept of being number One. Again, you do not have to dominate and destroy in order to lead and manage.

Your Soul Urge number is: 5

A Soul Urge number of 5 means:
The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.

In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.

You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.

Your Inner Dream number is: 5

An Inner Dream number of 5 means:
You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling with the natives in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might accomplish.

Posted by shoe at 11:01 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 16, 2006

schoolio inglesias

well, i made it. up at the crack, and a frumpy monkey all day, but it all got done. can i hear a hell yeah?
choke hold.JPG
the entire first day picture shoot was a wrestling match from word go.
smiley first day.JPG
that's wrestling saliva on their first day of school duds
true facilitator.JPG
true finally manhandled a straight on pic of the goofball
ear torture.JPG
in this last one, true is saying through his teeth, "stop alex, don't you know she's taking a picture of this? you are so gay, you are so gay, stoooOOOOp " while he freely inflicts ear torture on the little lovechop.

when i dropped them at school, true took alex by the hand and walked him in. the last thing i heard him say, "c'mon brudder, i'll show you where to go.." and they disappeared into the gym, holding hands.

innocence almost lost, but still hanging on by a thread.

Posted by shoe at 11:26 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

August 14, 2006

living in the past lane



last day of summer is tomorrow. the boys are bummed. i can't even take off work early, the day is booked solid. my brain shall be fried this time tomorrow when the final countdown kicks off.

the boys on the block are getting two more newbies. that will make 7 boys under eight within five adjacent homes. it's going to get crazy ridiculous around here as they all get older. you should see the street parties already.

really takes me back to my childhood on needle street in htown. so many kids... there were two shoes, actually, so i being very fortunately the younger of us got tagged "little shoe" and my neighbor sadly, "big shoe." can you imagine the psychological damage? she was only 7 or so when i met her, but the big girl, nonetheless.

someone once referred to one of my clients as "big mama" and i remember thinking if anyone ever called me that i'd kill 'em.

anyhow, back on needle street in the seventies we would congregate after school. meet up by the hydrant and make plans. ride bikes, play hopscotch, get help with homework, whatever... good times.

we even made up our own nighttime neighborhood game called "warden". if you were the warden, you would count at the light pole while everyone hid. then you would search the yards and driveways of the four or so homes in play with a flashlight, sending those you found to the jail, also known as the lightpole. ah, for hours we played, into the night. my first adrenaline dumps came under the bright glow of the warden's cold light of justice when i was young, young, young. the cop thing makes more sense every day here in epiphanyville.

but no matter how late our mom let us stay out, it was never enough time. the dirt, the sweat, the exhiliration of playing for a living. what a life! how can you not envy any kid?

surely, all this and more awaits my boys here. it's going to be neat watching all these young guys grow up. granted, the block may self convert into a truck stop. we don't know yet, but i'd say the writing is on the wall.

yep, and summer fun being squelched by the man. i remember it well. c'est la vie, mon amis!


Posted by shoe at 09:00 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 08, 2006


it happened again. school starts in a week and a half. i suddenly start to panic, summer's almost over and we haven't done a thing.

what entitlement? what necessity? vacations aren't allowed, not overtly. nobody owes us any time together but us, so who is to blame when summer slips by without so much as a trip to grandma's? oh, you know who.

it's me. me who has lost the concept of vacation since i've spent the last 13 years with no "vacation time". commission only living can severely deteriorate your core principles. don't let it happen to you, friends, if you can help it.

so the boys and i went to new braunfels to celebrate family fun day. we opened the park at nine thirty a.m., and limped back to the car at 7:20 at night. fun is a massive understatement. take fun, add your first funnel cake, a day of water rollercoasters and two nonstop thrillseeking boys and you have our yesterday. holy cow!! i had to call the beautiful people on the way home and tell them what a badass i was for surviving it.

anyway, you can't solve all life's problems in a day, but you can make a good dent. the boys slept half the way home and i was able to drop them in their beds without so much as a murmur of discontent. now if i can just get them up and off to daycamp, the salt mine is calling me home.

Posted by shoe at 07:33 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 05, 2006

hippie free, since 2003

my dear sweet yet demented friend jean sent me this adorable email:
vote hippie.jpg

god bless her patchouli soaked soul. she's delusional. is there a single reader out there that believes the hippie vote could swing an election? just checking.

meanwhile, in texas, previously respectable folk talk about throwing their votes to kinky friedman in the face of one of the most booming times in texas history. back to this planet people. where is this logic that demands change in good times coming from? and just why is everyone against having good times?

nah, i can't stand a stinky, hairy hippie at any age. i guess it's my line, but i respect discipline and hard work above all. plus there's no reasoning with clueless dumbfucks, is there? hang the hippies high for all i care.

i suggest a new slogan, "smoke their dope and get a rope!" or "hippie holocaust in 08: it's shower time, baby" help me out, please, in the comments. it's been 40 freakin years since the sixties, we NEED a clean up america campaign. something more in your face than a crying indian.

update: ugh, i JUST realized how offensive holocaust and shower time are in one sentence. sorry. it was sincerely meant to allude to irradicating hippies by bathing them, and in no way meant to be so vile as to mock murdering them. oy vey, people, what was i thinking?? mel gibson made me do it. i'm a lover, i am.

Posted by shoe at 09:32 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 03, 2006

true stories

from the first grade.

egg thiefs


scary mutants

the end

Posted by shoe at 07:04 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack