although i'm female in sex, i'm not at shopping. i loathe shopping. i'm missing the finer qualities of true feminine persuasion. i can't coordinate or accessorize, and therefore, the thought of shopping is sheer torture to me and brings out many of my deep seeded issues.anorexia i know when i get out there, i'll suffer a mini anxiety attack, almost unnoticeable to passers-by. i'll be doing my usual great depression baby thinking, "do i really need this?" the answer is usually no. due to my mental warfare, i often opt out, rather than make a choice that requires spending money. the thought of spending money being too painful after a long day of earning it. plus, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. my wealthiest clients by and large have suffered from financial anorexia. classic quote from a great depression baby:
me, "i love your suit."man, i admire their lean financial ways. bulimia as a natural consequence of being shopping deficient, genetically speaking, i've found that i've developed a binge and purge economic lifestyle. it works like this: because i have no confidence to pick out a simple outfit, i compensate by overbuying once i get myself to the shopping venue. if i need socks, i buy a dozen pair, in my mind escaping all future need for that venue. and in that moment, that single solitary moment when i'm flush with socks for the foreseeable future, i really am at peace. it doesn't last long though. eventually i find myself awash in multi color whatever it is, so i box the tired crap up and leave it for the charitable resale shops. a more common version of the purge is the classic garage sale, though i've never had the stomach for it. obesity finally, when i find something i truly love, truly worth the extra dough, i go flame throwing mad with it. money really has no value when you allow yourself to spend sixty dollars on shampoo. it can be a kind of costco mentality at times, storing up the good stuff like a hardworking squirrel.
client, "this awful thing? why, it's old enough to vote."
there's only one way to survive, only one way to remain relatively financially healthy despite the known landmines and the weaknesses they uncover. you've heard it before, it's not like i invent this shit. Pay Yourself First. that is all. pay yourself first and you can fuck away all the money in the world at starbucks, it's a fact.
fail to pay yourself first and the only solution is going to be .38 caliber bullet. i can't help you if you won't help yourself. take that vital first step, please.
(blinding glimpse of the obvious brought to you by denny. he gave me the bullet idea to run off those clients who practice deadbeat economics. when they ask me what they should do, i'm supposed to put a bullet out on my desk between us--classic snotty rich fuck. big thanks to denny!!)
true, "you have some serious issues."
testing, does this work
besides the separation anxiety i was suffering from all of you, i had a hell week at work. hella good, but hell just the same. long days, productive, but mighty long. i opened 26 accounts this past week, that's meeting at least 26 people (many were plus the spouse) to talk about their goals, issues, etc.
now that's epic proportions for my business. i normally open 4-6 accounts in a month. i'm fine with that, and size matters, it can be difficult to keep up and deal with that many new families in a month. but 26 in a week? i've been trying to calm down ever since 4 o'clock yesterday and it's hard because i have all these new people on my mind. it hurts.
in my spare time (did you catch the sarcasm?) i have had two puking and liquishitting youngsters on my hands. both got booted out of their respective daycares for the obligatory 24 hour safety period. this time, for the first time in my 7 year career as a mommy, both kids vomitted inside the walmart on the day they were kicked out of school! fab, i know. it's a wonderful life, envy me. changing sheets in the middle of the night, bathing sick boys while you gagingly scrub on a germ laden throne. damn, i am super woman, even if i have a little gack on my suit.
today i finally got a rest. just slept in and vegged out all morning. i have a serious allergy headache going on, but i'm not going to bitch. i'm lucky to be holding down solids. wish i could lurk out here longer but i'm a little loopy upstairs.
ya'll take care, have a good weekend and i'll see more of you too dimensional peeps latra on.
hattip to christina who reminded me of the "in plain view" argument our fine men in blue like to use. in other words, if you don't want to get caught, don't do it all out in the open, right?
quite an ongoing debate, who is really like their blog? everyone is and isn't. depends on their mission statement i guess, i don't have one. this is mental diarhea for me. the shits. not serious, not important, just what's on my plate at the time.
speaking of plates, christina gets you high on kahlua cake and then she's like the pied piper, you'll follow her anywhere.
anyways, as i was saying, in plain view. even if what you read is true, it's miniscule. a few minutes of one person's life. perception being reality, it's truly intriguing to meet people you read because you get to see for yourself what about that person is truly in plain view out here. equally interesting, what isn't.
i've heard it said about the company i keep before, a nice group but a rough bunch. definitely so among my blodging bretheren. kooky assed crackers everyone. it can be overwhelming in large doses, but then again, i didn't invite the motherfuckers. don't blame me.
hattips and serious gratitude for the giggle pains go to dash, christina, yabu, denny, el capitan, jack, beth, aj, zippo and the fam, my palm pilot, and the many exotic animals that were felled for our nourishment. and of course susan and the man in uniform for keeping it all honest and out there in the open.
a special shout out for my wee roommate and the sinister elder sister, the two most brilliant and beautiful girls--though the older one needs a fierce spanking, just for good measure (chew on that, smart ass.) shoe--1 sweet one--zip.
oh, i got the big deal on thursday, thanks for the votes of confidence.
and, i read over at eric's that their asses were sore? some hotrantra meet huh-- the brokeback blodgers? houston, WE have some serious fucking problems.
the day didn't start out so great. went through about sixty pairs of panty hose searching for one without a run. finally, opened a new pair out of sheer exhaustion and gashed a brand new hugamous hole in the foot. cool.
i had to stop at cvs. ugh, i felt like a prostitute. all dressed up but no pantyhose. my mother brainwashed me as a child. see, all real women put their faces on at 6 am AND only whores don't wear pantyhose.
serious. and this is texas people, it gets a little hot for hose in the summer. but the generation gap, holy cow, grand canyon. needless to say, i sweat a lot as a child in pantyhose in the 100 degree summer heat.
eventually even my mom came to her senses and it has become okay to go hoseless during the summer months. but still, deeply ingrained, a guilty feeling being hoseless in the morning on a cold winter day. whore!
i think i saw a flash of judgement in the cvs clerk's eyes. course i'm sensitive, it being do or die day and me being without proper hosiery. good thing i'm not a spiritual person, or i'd consider the day fuct for luck.
nah, be a positive prostitute, chou. this whore is hoping to score..this whore is hoping to score..
damn kids have got me chanting.
i don't know, all i know is i don't aim to change. not really. and being the goal centered goofball i am, i don't expect any change either. at least i'm used to it. now i've got to get back to work, just as soon as i find my car keys...
at least racial equality is becoming the global standard. i think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. would be proud today that he shared his dream, and of the fact that many of the thoughts he articulated in that speech at lincoln's feet are felt by all americans to be definitive of democracy.happy birthday to a great american, Dr. King.
getting my nails done and everything is awry. beej leans over and kind of whispers to me, "well, venus is in retrograde, i wouldn't make any sudden moves."
"what the fuck does that mean?"
"it means that a scorpio woman has no business making waves with venus in retrograde"
oh, whatever..i'll get right on thatso, is that what it means to be spiritual? i don't really know. i think trusting the word of god delivered via prophets seems a lot less hokey when you compare it to the science of man. but perhaps it's just me. afterall, i'm a scorpio woman and i really don't give a fuck what the stars say, i'm starting some shit. call me when the dust settles.
at least that's what alex said. and as i'm hearing this for my very first time, true speaks in a most serious tone, "ya know, mom, with great power comes great responsibility."
"no kidding. where did you hear that?"
"it's written right here on my spiderman back pack. with great power comes great responsibility."
oh shite, he reads
"but with great power comes great responsibility"
"want to go see the disappearing mountains, sweetie? up close?"
i was nauseous watching most of that, but you know, the good guys won it.
loved hearing this direct quote from usc's heisman winner matt leinart after his loss to my beloved horns, "whatever. i still think we are the better team, they just had the plays at the end." well, said, you pathetic poor sport. or, as we say down here deep in the heart of texas, LOSER!!
fuck yes, horns. don't think i'll be sleeping anytime soon, i'm wound up, but i was so very proud of vince and the boys. sweet wonderful horns, great show!! thanks for ulcers and of course, the memories.
hamlet, damn. william shakespeare knew how to thread a needle, did he not? sleep the ultimate in relaxation he penned as possibly a terrifying place to be stuck eternally, depending on the quality of the dream. so very right.
i'm suffering a kid-borne insomnia of sorts. exhaustion by day as i toil through days with little to no contentment, followed by late night hours where i can't get my mind to rest. mostly those thoughts are irradic in nature, and the dreams that follow equally nonsense based, however terrifying.
i can't get enough sleep and i can't rest once i'm there. trouble afoot. the 90 degree january days are also mutating me. as i progressively become more zombiefied, i beg of you, send some peaceful thoughts my way.
and to those dealing with me in the real world, would you please pretend my eye make up isn't smudged down my cheeks and that my socks match? thanks. i'm coping just as well as i can.
oh, and no posties tommorrow. the rose bowl starts at 7 so i'll be glued to the tube. worried bout my horns, but it's been decades since we've gone to the national championship and i think forever since this kind of season. they scare me though. my freaking longhorns know how to take a dump on a football field--that a&m game was one massive ongoing bowel movement. no, think positive shoe, tonight i'll dream of a national championship win. wear orange, be loud, stay late...HOOK EM, HORNS!!
ahh, the new year and love and babies-- i think 2006 is going to be alright. love you, kelley and spidey and pete and baby chou!! blights rule!!