January 30, 2006

binge and purge economics

i have many spending disorders, capitalism quirks.

although i'm female in sex, i'm not at shopping. i loathe shopping. i'm missing the finer qualities of true feminine persuasion. i can't coordinate or accessorize, and therefore, the thought of shopping is sheer torture to me and brings out many of my deep seeded issues.

anorexia i know when i get out there, i'll suffer a mini anxiety attack, almost unnoticeable to passers-by. i'll be doing my usual great depression baby thinking, "do i really need this?" the answer is usually no. due to my mental warfare, i often opt out, rather than make a choice that requires spending money. the thought of spending money being too painful after a long day of earning it. plus, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. my wealthiest clients by and large have suffered from financial anorexia. classic quote from a great depression baby:

me, "i love your suit."
client, "this awful thing? why, it's old enough to vote."
man, i admire their lean financial ways.

bulimia as a natural consequence of being shopping deficient, genetically speaking, i've found that i've developed a binge and purge economic lifestyle. it works like this: because i have no confidence to pick out a simple outfit, i compensate by overbuying once i get myself to the shopping venue. if i need socks, i buy a dozen pair, in my mind escaping all future need for that venue. and in that moment, that single solitary moment when i'm flush with socks for the foreseeable future, i really am at peace. it doesn't last long though. eventually i find myself awash in multi color whatever it is, so i box the tired crap up and leave it for the charitable resale shops. a more common version of the purge is the classic garage sale, though i've never had the stomach for it.

obesity finally, when i find something i truly love, truly worth the extra dough, i go flame throwing mad with it. money really has no value when you allow yourself to spend sixty dollars on shampoo. it can be a kind of costco mentality at times, storing up the good stuff like a hardworking squirrel.
other times, it's more simple, a favorite food or a specialty coffee. anyone who's spent money on a drink at starbucks is guilty of this perception quicksand to one extreme or another. it goes like this, "it's worth it." no it's not, it's marketing.
i'm not picking on starbucks either, i'm guilty on all fronts. i paid $2 for a quart of water TODAY at the mini mart. at that rate, i'm spending 8 bucks on a gallon of water. hilarious, water. i tell you what though, i was thirsty. supply and demand, ain't life grand?
go ahead, get yourself a normal run of the mill capitalistic addiction and i think you'll find that your common sense flies out the window. afterall, more is more. keeping up with the joneses, and all that.

there's only one way to survive, only one way to remain relatively financially healthy despite the known landmines and the weaknesses they uncover. you've heard it before, it's not like i invent this shit. Pay Yourself First. that is all. pay yourself first and you can fuck away all the money in the world at starbucks, it's a fact.

fail to pay yourself first and the only solution is going to be .38 caliber bullet. i can't help you if you won't help yourself. take that vital first step, please.

(blinding glimpse of the obvious brought to you by denny. he gave me the bullet idea to run off those clients who practice deadbeat economics. when they ask me what they should do, i'm supposed to put a bullet out on my desk between us--classic snotty rich fuck. big thanks to denny!!)

nighty, night kids. now remember, put some hay in the barn. i mean it. do it by april 15th and uncle sam might smile on you. healthy americans=healthy america. can do & know how, that's you. now go get em.

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January 29, 2006

overheard in the playroom

alex, "woot, beeeeeeeep, wooot, woooooot, beep, bip."

true, "you have some serious issues."

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January 28, 2006

she's a little runaway

testing, does this work

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we represent the lolligag guild..

i'm out there folks, i've got a couple of whacked out posts in draft status, but i can't make sense of much. i've been removed, completely for most the week. no working phone lines at my house. hard to admit this, but i just assumed it was one of my phone jacked devices and never bothered to call in professional help. i did unplug everything for three days (yes, i thought that would cure it) and when that didn't work i realized it was serious. best crazy assed quote came from red on this matter, "well, i don't want to upset you...but you may have fire ants." uuuuuuhhhhh...

besides the separation anxiety i was suffering from all of you, i had a hell week at work. hella good, but hell just the same. long days, productive, but mighty long. i opened 26 accounts this past week, that's meeting at least 26 people (many were plus the spouse) to talk about their goals, issues, etc.

now that's epic proportions for my business. i normally open 4-6 accounts in a month. i'm fine with that, and size matters, it can be difficult to keep up and deal with that many new families in a month. but 26 in a week? i've been trying to calm down ever since 4 o'clock yesterday and it's hard because i have all these new people on my mind. it hurts.

in my spare time (did you catch the sarcasm?) i have had two puking and liquishitting youngsters on my hands. both got booted out of their respective daycares for the obligatory 24 hour safety period. this time, for the first time in my 7 year career as a mommy, both kids vomitted inside the walmart on the day they were kicked out of school! fab, i know. it's a wonderful life, envy me. changing sheets in the middle of the night, bathing sick boys while you gagingly scrub on a germ laden throne. damn, i am super woman, even if i have a little gack on my suit.

today i finally got a rest. just slept in and vegged out all morning. i have a serious allergy headache going on, but i'm not going to bitch. i'm lucky to be holding down solids. wish i could lurk out here longer but i'm a little loopy upstairs.

ya'll take care, have a good weekend and i'll see more of you too dimensional peeps latra on.

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January 22, 2006

in plain view

sometimes we don't really put the whole truth out here on the internet

hattip to christina who reminded me of the "in plain view" argument our fine men in blue like to use. in other words, if you don't want to get caught, don't do it all out in the open, right?

quite an ongoing debate, who is really like their blog? everyone is and isn't. depends on their mission statement i guess, i don't have one. this is mental diarhea for me. the shits. not serious, not important, just what's on my plate at the time.

speaking of plates, christina gets you high on kahlua cake and then she's like the pied piper, you'll follow her anywhere.

anyways, as i was saying, in plain view. even if what you read is true, it's miniscule. a few minutes of one person's life. perception being reality, it's truly intriguing to meet people you read because you get to see for yourself what about that person is truly in plain view out here. equally interesting, what isn't.

i've heard it said about the company i keep before, a nice group but a rough bunch. definitely so among my blodging bretheren. kooky assed crackers everyone. it can be overwhelming in large doses, but then again, i didn't invite the motherfuckers. don't blame me.

hattips and serious gratitude for the giggle pains go to dash, christina, yabu, denny, el capitan, jack, beth, aj, zippo and the fam, my palm pilot, and the many exotic animals that were felled for our nourishment. and of course susan and the man in uniform for keeping it all honest and out there in the open.

a special shout out for my wee roommate and the sinister elder sister, the two most brilliant and beautiful girls--though the older one needs a fierce spanking, just for good measure (chew on that, smart ass.) shoe--1 sweet one--zip.

oh, i got the big deal on thursday, thanks for the votes of confidence.

and, i read over at eric's that their asses were sore? some hotrantra meet huh-- the brokeback blodgers? houston, WE have some serious fucking problems.

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January 19, 2006

whores don't wear hose..

it's the big day. the one. the big final board meeting. keep your fingers crossed for me, it's a definite do or die. do or die, because tonight they will buy, but who knows who from. pitter pat.

the day didn't start out so great. went through about sixty pairs of panty hose searching for one without a run. finally, opened a new pair out of sheer exhaustion and gashed a brand new hugamous hole in the foot. cool.

i had to stop at cvs. ugh, i felt like a prostitute. all dressed up but no pantyhose. my mother brainwashed me as a child. see, all real women put their faces on at 6 am AND only whores don't wear pantyhose.

serious. and this is texas people, it gets a little hot for hose in the summer. but the generation gap, holy cow, grand canyon. needless to say, i sweat a lot as a child in pantyhose in the 100 degree summer heat.

eventually even my mom came to her senses and it has become okay to go hoseless during the summer months. but still, deeply ingrained, a guilty feeling being hoseless in the morning on a cold winter day. whore!

i think i saw a flash of judgement in the cvs clerk's eyes. course i'm sensitive, it being do or die day and me being without proper hosiery. good thing i'm not a spiritual person, or i'd consider the day fuct for luck.

nah, be a positive prostitute, chou. this whore is hoping to score..this whore is hoping to score..

damn kids have got me chanting.

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January 17, 2006

i put the ain't in can't

perhaps you need a texan to pronounce that correctly, it should rhyme. i have a lot to get done. a freaking super difficult accreditation course that i'm six months behind on. several home projects (at least most the christmas stuff is put away). preparation for a huge business altering meeting on thursday. a whole month's pay, i've been kind of a slacker this new year. oh, and there's always self improvement to keep the whole machine running smooth. excercise, good meals, good life... instead i diet on deadlines. i wait for the shoe to drop, then i'll react. it's a shitty row to hoe, but it's all i know. i can't change, i can't change, i can't change... any pointers? any ideas? i look at anal retentive organized folks (no call outs, you know who you are) and i wonder, are they any less stressed than myself? or do they just see more imperfection from their squared away vantage point?

i don't know, all i know is i don't aim to change. not really. and being the goal centered goofball i am, i don't expect any change either. at least i'm used to it. now i've got to get back to work, just as soon as i find my car keys...

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January 16, 2006

now more than ever

"We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise up from the dark and desolate valley of racial segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice." MLK August 28,1963

i can't make it through a day without hearing the phrase global economy once, sad but true. we are all connected. our history, their history-indeed, it's a small world afterall.

here we are, 40 some odd years later, still at war over race, only now the bully lives on the next continent. nothing new i know, just odd how pc everyone seems to be.

diplomacy over such inflamed issues just feels like the aclu at work on the global scale. everyone accepting the hatred of a few boiling nations, like it's somehow their right to oppress their people. they loudly voice their hatred and go about building nuclear weapons and what do we do? we talk about it. tolerance of evil frightens me. if you're scared to live next door to iran, what's it like to live there? there are a lot of nations i wouldn't care to visit because i think i would represent the invisible yet powerful threat of freedom, every american does.

has anyone read the national geographic article on the Kurds? interesting stuff there. took several years and getting rid of saddam to hear it, but at least we can. but of course it's that same old story, racial inequality and intolerance. scary shit.

so i don't know any answers, what's new right? i just was marvelling at how far we have come to be in virtually the same state, we are spreading freedom worldwide but what do we know? lots of americans don't seem grateful at all for the freedoms they enjoy, everything is due.

at least racial equality is becoming the global standard. i think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. would be proud today that he shared his dream, and of the fact that many of the thoughts he articulated in that speech at lincoln's feet are felt by all americans to be definitive of democracy.

happy birthday to a great american, Dr. King.

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January 15, 2006

venus in retrograde

if there's one thing i don't dig, it's spirituality. i know, for some folks this is midpoint between jesus freak and heathen. i know for lots, it's a cop out. i've heard it a million times, "i'm not so much religious, but i'm a deeply spiritual person." huh?

getting my nails done and everything is awry. beej leans over and kind of whispers to me, "well, venus is in retrograde, i wouldn't make any sudden moves."

"what the fuck does that mean?"

"it means that a scorpio woman has no business making waves with venus in retrograde"

oh, whatever..i'll get right on that

so, is that what it means to be spiritual? i don't really know. i think trusting the word of god delivered via prophets seems a lot less hokey when you compare it to the science of man. but perhaps it's just me. afterall, i'm a scorpio woman and i really don't give a fuck what the stars say, i'm starting some shit. call me when the dust settles.

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January 13, 2006


mommy, can i have a treat? i've been a good boy well, at school i have well, not that good really what's for dinner?
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January 11, 2006

a picture's worth a thousand expletives

caption this for me in the comments, pretty please:

and i do apologize. i got this in my inbox yesterday and the image has hung on like grim death. with the blogmeet in austin coming this spring, i wanted our out of town guests to understand that when they say "keep austin weird" it's really no contest. this guy looks like a blogger to me. he has an awful lot to say for a transient. and i do understand his rage, fucking pigs bringing false camping charges and stealing his purse, oh the humanity.

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January 07, 2006

disappearing mountains

that's their power, they disappear things. like what, you ask? like the sun, they say. the disappearing mountains swallow the sun each day. and i heard folks tell, of another poor folk, that walked into them woods and well.. we hadn't seen him since. the mountains got 'em, that's what they say.

at least that's what alex said. and as i'm hearing this for my very first time, true speaks in a most serious tone, "ya know, mom, with great power comes great responsibility."

"no kidding. where did you hear that?"

"it's written right here on my spiderman back pack. with great power comes great responsibility."

oh shite, he reads


"yes, mommy"

"stop chanting"

"but with great power comes great responsibility"

"want to go see the disappearing mountains, sweetie? up close?"

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January 04, 2006

awe yeah!

national champions!!

i was nauseous watching most of that, but you know, the good guys won it.

loved hearing this direct quote from usc's heisman winner matt leinart after his loss to my beloved horns, "whatever. i still think we are the better team, they just had the plays at the end." well, said, you pathetic poor sport. or, as we say down here deep in the heart of texas, LOSER!!

fuck yes, horns. don't think i'll be sleeping anytime soon, i'm wound up, but i was so very proud of vince and the boys. sweet wonderful horns, great show!! thanks for ulcers and of course, the memories.

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January 03, 2006

to sleep, perchance to dream...

oh dear, issues. day three of the new year and i've got issues.

hamlet, damn. william shakespeare knew how to thread a needle, did he not? sleep the ultimate in relaxation he penned as possibly a terrifying place to be stuck eternally, depending on the quality of the dream. so very right.

i'm suffering a kid-borne insomnia of sorts. exhaustion by day as i toil through days with little to no contentment, followed by late night hours where i can't get my mind to rest. mostly those thoughts are irradic in nature, and the dreams that follow equally nonsense based, however terrifying.

i can't get enough sleep and i can't rest once i'm there. trouble afoot. the 90 degree january days are also mutating me. as i progressively become more zombiefied, i beg of you, send some peaceful thoughts my way.

and to those dealing with me in the real world, would you please pretend my eye make up isn't smudged down my cheeks and that my socks match? thanks. i'm coping just as well as i can.

oh, and no posties tommorrow. the rose bowl starts at 7 so i'll be glued to the tube. worried bout my horns, but it's been decades since we've gone to the national championship and i think forever since this kind of season. they scare me though. my freaking longhorns know how to take a dump on a football field--that a&m game was one massive ongoing bowel movement. no, think positive shoe, tonight i'll dream of a national championship win. wear orange, be loud, stay late...HOOK EM, HORNS!!

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January 01, 2006

i'm going to be a second cousin!!

hey sweets my dear sweet wonderful peeps. my identical cousin, kelley, is with child! i am so happy, not just for her, but for me. you see, all of us with those maternal instincts know that nothing saves, nothing improves, nothing beats holding a brand new baby. aaahhh, i can hardly wait for fall. plus, although we all worry about our loved ones when they're preggo, we have the comfort of knowing this: no matter what goes wrong in the world, we all are going to have more blights to deal with it. oh my goodness, what a gift, more beautiful blights in the world. i can't stand it, i may pee in my blog chair. wait, i'm not pregnant. you can do that though kel, with good excuse!! i begged her to name it "chou" if it's a gurl. i don't think pete needs that much of a reminder of just how up your ass the blogworld can get, but i'm going to keep pleading my case just the same.

ahh, the new year and love and babies-- i think 2006 is going to be alright. love you, kelley and spidey and pete and baby chou!! blights rule!!

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