July 31, 2005

foot fettish?

hey all

my friend has a short film up at atom films...it's the top right three minutes of footage...

if you like short artsy films or if you have a strong predisposition for feet, please go download my friend's film...she gets some kind of props for every download..

thanks for the foot love from the shoe..

Posted by shoe at 12:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

tripping the life fantastic

on my return from nola, i passed right by the summit in houston...many memories in that old builing...

i saw my first concerts there..the Cars, Prince's purple rain tour, and i never will forget, the Van Halen jump tour...i met a guy and he played air guitar on my courduroy guess jeans throughout the show..he left some scratches in my jeans that lasted as long as the jeans did..

in 95, i saw a rockets playoff game there..shot three free throws outside and won all this giveaway crap...shooting the free throws was the big deal..my brother missed, and i hadn't played basketball since we'd played horse in the driveway...

then in 1988, i saw my first dead show..my friend bought my ticket because i had no interest in going...i remember him telling me that seeing a dead show was an experience that i should have no matter what i thought of the music..

he was right..there are few visual images i can conjure up that could compete with those at the summit when 50,000 hippies took over the metropolis..i hadn't done any drugs at that time, so i was for all intensive purposes, vacationing on lsd island...it was a trip to say the least people..i miss the grateful dead!! those crazies knew how to let their hair down..

but now the summit has been bought and renovated by the lakeway church. imagine that? still an important central meeting location for houstonians, still a place of singing, happiness, music and emotion...but now the patrons all dress up and wear deodorant..

yep, the frizzle fries wore off and the town buttoned up like the rest of the world..i'm glad to see it..but i won't soon be able to lose the image of all those lsd laden hippies dancing car wash style in that church..jerry or jesus, we all just want to be led..

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July 30, 2005

the forest and the trees..

when i go blind, i'm counting on you fine people to have my back...someone has got to tell them that it was the sitemeter and not the masturbation...

it took me 6 months to get 300 people to this site...eric accounts for about 200 of those hits..he is a dedicated adoptive daddy o..my reputation since nola has brought me to my 1200th hit...geez, i didn't know how EASY y'all are, i could have bared all a long ass time ago, help a brother out..

funny thing though, i only started blogging because i didn't have any friends post divorce..i loved the personalities i was finding out in blogland..i thought, if i had a blog it would allow them to know me as i know them..so there you have it..

now one week has gone by since nawlins and i'm back at home and you know what? i waited too long...i love these people..

sure, i got branded on my first trip out..i should have, i deserve far more bs than i actually have received..

but now, funny thing, i don't have time to blog..i'm too busy with my real life hooking up with my favorite bloggers...i'm heading out to feisty's this afternoon to meet up with some texas blodgers for a pig roast, cocktails and hopefully some great conversation that doesn't lead to any unsolicited nudity on my part...let's hope..

for real, these are the coolest people on earth...if you are one of those like me, who feel like you don't meet people day to day as great as these people..i urge you to leave me a comment with your url and we will get busy working you into the fold...

have a great weekend, and i'm not taking my camera, so don't ask..

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July 29, 2005

dream man

this is a picture from sept 11th weekend last year...guy was playing with a group of popular austin musicians in a gospel brunch...

at the end of this sunday morning gospel show, a couple of old hippies danced barefoot out into the middle of the stage...the lady jumped up on the old man, straddling him and they proceeded to dry hump to the end of the song...so austin, always a difficult place to make sense of religion..freakalicious, though, 24-7

in this shot he's playing the saw...if you've not seen or heard this, by golly, get yourself to a show immediately..or buy an album, it's awesome..

plus, he plays a variety of music..so even if the sound of the saw doesn't appeal to you, you will enjoy the show, i know it..

i think i first saw guy playing on sixth street my senior year of college. austin was a great town to go to school in..and guy was fresh off the boat from kansas city..when i say he played on six street, i mean on the street..the boy didn't have a gig, so he sang and played and people like me wandered by and thought, jeez, this is the best talent on the block..

guy is the maker of my favorite albums: needle gun, steak, and voices inside..he also sings a song titled "why'd ya' go and fuck it all up?" a cappella style while roaming through the audience..he has an incredible voice..

like all men, perhaps, he's flawed..extremely liberal, he referred to me once as his most conservative fan..he has a sticker on his car that says "lick bush" and for some perverse reason, it just endears him to me..what can i say? opposites attract..

anyway, his tour schedule is always over there on my sidebar..if you're planning a trip to texas or denmark or sporadically nyc..please do go see guy forsyth, you will be happy you did..

his newest album is due out august 23rd everywhere..Love Songs: For & Against..i'm hoping to hell this song made the cut, because like music often does, it says it so much better than i can..bloggerific blogbuddies, this one is for you...from me via guy forsyth..

Brand New Day

i'll be on my way
someday you will hear me say
i'll be on my way
and you'll see me shining
like a brand new day

you've been carrying me so long
i never knew you could be so strong
the way i treated you was so wrong
but like the dawn
i'm coming on

i'll be on my way

now's the right time to begin
you taught me how to treat a friend
let's throw caution to the wind

all the signs say somethings happening
and i'll be on my way
someday you will hear me say
i'll be on my way
and you'll see me shining
like a brand new day

a brand new day
keep my shadow behind me
i need you to remind me
the sun is on it's way
on it's way
it's the time it's the season
oh, but you are the reason
that i'm here today

i'll be on my way
someday you will hear me say
i'll be on my way
and you'll see me shining
like a brand new day

Posted by shoe at 11:45 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack


howdy from home..

the alley cat got the throw ups and puked all over the pre-k room this morning minutes after i kissed him and went to work..retrieved his pasty little dumpling self shortly thereafter..he's chilling in front of the tube now..

but my stomach is kinda grumblin, psychosomatic i'm hoping..

speaking of the tube, i'm reminded that my kids were driving me absolutely nuts saying, "mommy, can we see johnny depp starring as charlie in the chocolate factory?" i gave in and took them opening weekend..when johnny depp first appeared, the alley cat started yelling,"look mommy, that's charlie depp, that's charlie depp!!" we loved the new one by the way, do go see it when you can..

ah, there's too much to do at the office..but i'm not going to bitch..unscheduled three day weekends are nothing to take lightly..i'm going to go iron something..have a great day!

Posted by shoe at 10:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 28, 2005

She's gotta have it

"mommy, do you do blogs?"

"what is a blog?"

"i don't know, what is a blog?"

"who's asking?"


"uh huh, i thought so.."

key baby, believe me honey.. i know..i love seeing your precious mugs daily..you are some beautiful freakin computer geeks, you know that? damn, you should see the blog love in roll one..i think i got enough compromising pics of all of you in this first batch to sleep easy, at last..

however, in my line of work, we're probably not supposed to blog..and although mine is hardly anonymous, i still think it heightens my chances of being recognized if the pics go out..i work in a highly litigated environment and i just don't need people showing up in court with stupor shots from nola...no offense, baby.. if i can earn your trust on this, i'll consider posting on saturday boobage under an assumed name, how's that?

i think some others in the group shots have similar work exposure issues..please don't make me kill my bloglife key, it's all i've got..

plus think of the children, darlin, mine need to eat..i love my job and i need it..

Posted by shoe at 09:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 27, 2005

No can do..

sorry, folks, but all you begging for my photos, are going to have to wait.. it was incriminating enough being the live body that had to publicly claim them..the smirk on the photo clerk's face i'm certain was not my imagination.. you digital dorks don't have to live with this scorn, so i guess that's what makes it easy for you to make your requests..however, let me clue you in on something, there is no way ANY of you will be seeing the majority of these..sorry.. ..shame on you barbie and shame on you blight love.. shame on all of you really..you know who you are..willing participants, every one..grinning like monkeys..i got yo' numba, people..and i better never figure out who took that one..i have some idea, but i don't really want to know..i like you all too much.. by the way, i received some serious revelations from that day...you zonker, you bought me film, did you not? thank you, buddy, that's what makes you so cool.. i got home and had four rolls in my purse, only developed the one in the camera..

i couldn't remember where it came from cause i didn't bring any film..i thought i snagged it from one of y'all, one of those "hold this" moments that went on too long..turns out i took more than 15 pics, cause they all start at about 5 o'clock saturday... and they ain't purty!!

WOOHOO!! let's hear it for mother hope..perhaps some carriage ride shots would be easier on my nerves..this was a HORRIBLE way to instantly revisit the great black hole..damn you kodak..you bring real awful things back to life..

which means i'm back to the photomat tomorrow..wish me luck..no one needs this hell twice..

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July 26, 2005

there's refineries in them thar hills..

driving out texas city way, the car was skunked out with that familiar foul odor...

true says, "ugh, mommy, why does it smell like rotten eggs?"

i said, "i think it's a refinery"

true says, "what's a refinery"

i said, "a refinery is a plant where they take the oil from the ground and turn it into gas for our car.."

true, "let me guess, an eggplant?"

Posted by shoe at 09:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 25, 2005

Since you left me, baby...

well, the drive was alright..sunny and no serious traffic issues all the way home. my mom thought maybe i should spend the night in houston, but opted for making me coffee instead..

big ass mistake..

i was awake till four last night, stalking all you people, you know, the kiddos were busy in dreamland..

i felt like a supastah at work today...two hours sleep post nawlins..eye make up smudged down to the chin.. hair greased up and ratty, i don't give a fuck, just needing my beauty rest...my assets grew by one million dollars while i was gone and that's always a good thing, but particularly good when you are starring as the zombie professional. USA, USA, USA..that's what i call putting your money to work, know what i'm saying? i love capitalism..yummy goodness..

anyways, i was a scaley excuse for a real person all day, and then i had an evening appointment which required a babysitter..followed immediately with bunco, my monthly all girl getaway.. bunco is the shit people..

tonight, not so irregularly, we decided to not play bunco at all and just tattoo each other with hyacinth tats and sip on hawaiian punch...ooof..are you sure this isn't a governor's daughter? why did they tattoo my face? that's going to suck come morning..

by the way, say hi to my mom...she is surely my newest lurker thanks to y'all's magnificent rain of linky love..she called me this morning at work and told me she loved denny's site..oh yeah..then she told me dash was a dreamboat and she couldn't wait to get home and read more...aye yi yiye...that was 12 hours ago...

thank goodness i'm too tired to care..later sweet peeps..

Posted by shoe at 10:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

the bad news blodgers...

ok ok

my n'awlins clock is kicking in, late night 3rd wind...oh yeah...you know it people, don't worry i got my clothes on...

quick advice...if you love bloggers you must go to a blogmeet..holy shite, best peepin' freaks on this earth..i loved every second, even those i can't account for...all good

if you do go to a future meet, may i suggest that you not make any preemptive statements as i did with "crawlin thru n'awlins" cause that shit will come to fruition, my brothers..hear me..actually, crawlin' would be a much classed up version of what i did, no?

now a special shout out to my fav-o-rite tights..
kelley, my blight blood, too much love for you in texas..shit, we did kind of get from the word go, did we not? zonker, thank you for filling in the dark chasms for me, it was great hearing about all the fun i had in third person..sam, barbie, christina, yabu and velociman..i hold all y'all equally responsible for the overembellished story i got from zonker...no freaking way people, i'm bad, but not that bad...key, you are the sweetest southern belle i have ever met, i can not thank you enough for sharing your grace, charm, and shoulders with me...and denny, we didn't have enough time, but thank god...i might have ended up on saturday boobage and that's not alright with me...susan, karen and my texas big bro, dash...i'm sick we didn't have more quality time together, but blogmeets are shift work, and this time i was on days...we will correct that in the future i hope...

oh, and even my doting blog daddy was nice enough to phone me and talk me thru my first hours with them..thanks pops..sorry i came off as illiterate as i did, i was geeking big time..

so to sum it up..a senator's son and an unpopped governor's daughter, strolling through the quarter...now i don't want to sound crass, but they said show your tits and i instead showed my ass..thanks for the hospitality, folks, i do appreciate ya..

love and nighty night, i miss you all already..

Posted by shoe at 01:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 21, 2005


thanks for the well wishes, peeps, the day went great...

i'm outta here, sorry no goodbye posty notes for you...not enough time...packing like a crazy woof...
blog is suffering, need to do so much around here, but ya know, all in due time..

the mississippi mutant is my crazy friend mean jean...she's coming saturday, wahoo..
have a great weekend...

see ya back here tuesdayish...

Posted by shoe at 04:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 20, 2005

strike one, yer out...

never, under any circumstances ask for someone's phone number only to call them and say, "you gave me the right number?"

won't make that mistake again...thanks for the life lesson, freaks..

Posted by shoe at 10:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack


man, there are soooooo many things on my plate right now... i had planned to spend the week leading up to n'awlins posting disclaimers about myself so the reality of meeting me would be less painful..

however, it's humpday, which means trash day at the homefront and swim day at school with the kids..again the blog must wait while we iron out the wrinkled pants of our daily existence...

still, i did find time to try and reformat the blog...a little bird told me it was hard to navigate. i think with all the posts on one page it looks more like everyone elses? i don't know, you tell me. i am techno difficient and don't habla html at all..

also at work i recently acquired a large account..the review is on thursday, and if it goes well enough, i will be breaking out of work shortly thereafter for the first leg of my journey. if not, i'll be panhandling all the bloggers for dough to get my car out of the trump lot in nola...wish me luck, i need it...

Posted by shoe at 07:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 19, 2005

spurm brokers...

enough with penis and spurm offers, vile porn concessioneers..

first, i'm being overwhelmed with electronic mail offers that say they can increase my "spurm" volume by 500%...wow, that may sound impressive...but i'm a numbers gal, 5 times nothing is still nothing, who do they think they are fooling?

then yesterday, AT WORK, i received a yellow envelope with a giant yellow daisy and it said "summer savings inside." red opened it, as is the custom in our office, and just about fell over dead when she realized it was assorted dildos and vibrators at such sizzling summer prices... mamamia, that woman is still freakin out...

i can't help but feel that this spam is somewhat of a scarlet letter...a dirty mark on my otherwise pristine background...where have i been? indeed, red, where have i been? i believe in personal responsibility, but cripes, people, i haven't a clue...how did they find me at work?????

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travel forecast looks kinda bleak, but i'm optimistic.. update: emily current pics
Posted by shoe at 06:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 18, 2005

home through friendlies' eyes..

imagine my astonishment to see all the texas love being tossed out while i was gone...savannah sam, the gut rumbler, and even grandpa pinhead...wow.. texas loves y'all too!!

we are south geographically, but texans don't think of themselves as southerners...we're texans..we'd be our own country if we could..and in places, you'd think you were in mexico...

one minor correction in the flora, texas has it all...sam has been misled by the part of texas she lives in... we do have actual fluffy grassy fields all over (st. augustine grows like kudzu here, if treated properly)...even in early preburbia houston, we got drunk on spiked watermelon and ran barefoot through fields, so darlin, that was slightly incorrect..

the density and type of tree varies wildly across the state, from piney woods in the east, to palms on the coast, to elms and oaks in between.. we got trees, sister..we definitely have trees..

however, she's right on about the perma summer weather. and due to the heat, we texans who do go barefoot most the summer, develop callouses on our feet in our toddler years. therefore, we can run barefoot through a field, but we can't feel a thing, cockle burrs included.. we've burnt our foot feelers for good. the blood is thinning from the heat, and the feet are 2 inches thick on the bottom, it's rough out here, folks...

but don't cry for us, texans appreciate what we've got. i've heard first hand those teary eyed winter stories from northerners (which is everyone north of texas, welcome to yankee land, oklahoma..) about walking miles to school in the snow??...you know it...but how many of you have heard the tear jerker of the scrawny texan child that had to walk to school in the 90 degree plus texas heat on a blacktop? happens every day around here...cry me a river..

ah, i did love looking at it from y'alls perspective though, so thanks..

Posted by shoe at 07:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Best Little Chorehouse in Texas

good show people, thanks for turning in some exotic locales on the homework assignment...'specially you, brier patch...china huh? you are so going on the blogroll for that one...true was excited but we didn't have time enough last night to get started..

i hate singleness sometimes...mainly when the house is falling apart and i can't fix it. first i was without ac for 3 days over the 4th of july holiday. then my oven died. i need to paint every room in my sadly seventies home...the work just never ends...

i get screwed on most of it when i pay someone else...for example, this guy was going to start mowing my lawn for 60 a month. he told me i needed to fix my fence and put in a gate so he could get his lawnmower in. i paid him $160 to fix the fence and mow for a month. he did a crap ass job, the fence won't stay closed and on top of it, he said i was confused and it would cost 40 each time he mowed...i asked him to kindly fuck off...damages escalating on his watch...

so now my 16 year old neighbor mows and waters for 20..but i have a new problem...chinch bugs...i treated myself before i left for htown and we got lots of rain, so it appears i may win this battle without professional intervention...yeah....

big week at work and then back on the road...posting may be light as i'll be batting down the hatches in anticipation of the big getaway this weekend...can not wait..

Posted by shoe at 06:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 15, 2005


well, it's back in time for me...girl scout reunion time..be gone and computerless all weekend...catch up on monday... have a good one, fine people.. oh, and true wants to know where all you hail from...please leave a city and state in these comments..he's putting pins in his world and US maps.. it's pretty cool...he already knows zonkers are made in atlanta (kids don't care about roots, or transfers, buddy, you just am where you am..) if you don't want to identify your location, no worries, but maybe leave an anonymous comment with the next biggest city, state nearby... thanks for the geography lesson, peeps,

again great weekend to you...

Posted by shoe at 12:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 14, 2005

potty fingers..

i was out surfing around and i caught some commentary on using potty language in blogs. lots of people seem to find it offensive, some outright requesting no potty language on the site or in comments. others curse politely with ** replacements. others use their blogs as forums to discuss how we potty-finger bloggers are less intelligent, thus we don't have the vocabulary to write without cursing...

all i got to say is us and fuck them...

i don't get the chance much in daily living to call a stupid fuck, a stupid fuck. believe me, my work brings in more of those than i can handle...but then there's also the danger of the kiddos throwing a "stupid fuck" parade...gotta keep it clean for the most part..

so if my foul language offends, i do apologize. i think i cuss with much less regularity in person... in this way, my blog is my dark side..welcome to the dark side, folks...

in that vein, i humbly submit perfectly fine language that sounds repulsive when you hear it in public out of one of your kid's mouths:

"sit on me, sit on me"
"i can't get it up"
"i want you on top this time"
"i like it when you spank me"
"i need to poop" (always spoken loudly at restaurants)

ok, that's all i could remember them saying, this week, but they were all benign in nature in context, i assure you. just sound bad...

i guess potty language is in the eye of the beholder and the ear of the behearer..sorry if i have offended you, but then again, if you are one of my true regular readers, you know i really don't give a flying fuck.

Posted by shoe at 06:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 13, 2005

it's the 14th in france...

Happiest of Bastille Days, Mon Amis!
i'm not sure if you noticed, but i appreciate all things french. yeah, yeah, yeah..whine to someone else about their politics, i don't care to hear it..i have enough issues with our own politics, myself.. can't we all just appreciate our neighbors for their contributions to the world we all love? i know i do...

on this day in 1789 it is said a crowd of a 1000 stormed the bastille and started the french revolution which led to the dumping of one kind of government for another...a monarchy for a republic...government by the people, of the people, for the people...

what a great idea..

when i was a child, the hunchback of notre dame was as real a character to me as any. the original story of the damsel in distress...victor hugo, master male thinker..

quasimodo...i can see the unfuckable dorkchop clearly, his beauty, esmeralda, draped over his shoulder..only he had the guts to save her..climbing for the bell tower as the crowd outside goes wild, archers at the ready...no luck, she spends "private time" with the freak and still gets beheaded in the end...

course, lots of women like esmerelda lost their heads in paris, it was kind of a freaky woman torture state to an imaginative little girl..

i couldn't find the pics of the gargoyles up there, but they are the finest i have ever seen..
for all who think you can't relate to the french, i wonder if you would feel differently sipping some absinthe at the agile rabbit?

the oldest cabaret in paris, now the most quiet street in the city..is this where hef got the inspiration to have bunnies?

and who can think of paris without envisioning the eiffel tower? surely the greatest architectural achievement of any world's fair..

on my blogroom wall, there is a framed drawing my son did when he was 4. it's a map from our house to our other family members' houses.. strangely dallas and houston appear on the other side of the eiffel tower...

sacre couer was always my favorite place to be.. the creation of suburbia, possibly ...when all the locals were driven 20 miles out of town by the massive real estate development in downtown paris...no city taxes on the hill, and before long the nuns of sacre couer were selling wine...once wine started flowing down the hill, artists, poets and musicians began congregating, free commerce unimpeded by the taxman...is it any wonder if you tumble all the way down the hill you wind up at the moulin rouge? i didn't think so...

and how about having a truly wonderful cup of coffee, in a town that turned coffee drinking into a national pastime..perhaps you will sit in the very same spot where writers like hemingway and sarte have been sipping and stewing for years..the cafe de flore...opened in 1887 for business, and still going strong...

and finally, denis diderot..patriot author of paris, i like what this man had to say..

"The good of the people must be the great purpose of government. By the laws of nature and of reason, the governors are invested with power to that end. And the greatest good of the people is liberty. It is to the state what health is to the individual."
any wonder they gifted us lady liberty? i often think of her twin standing in the middle of the river seine. Happy Independence Day, mon petit pomme frites!

wish i were there to celebrate with you...

Posted by shoe at 06:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 12, 2005

City Tard

i grew up in a small town of one million...the fourth largest city in these here united states...houston, texas...

let me tell you people, have a heart, growing up in a town that size lent itself to natural dysfunction..suburban american life is dirty business people, and it takes it's toll on the meek..

when i was 5 or 6, i lived down the block from my elementary school...i walked to school everyday with my older brother.. we were latch key kids, so after school we walked to the babysitter's several blocks away...eventually, my brother became grotesquely uncool, so i began to take the long walk home alone...

in a town like houston, you learn the words rape, murder, maim, kill...very early in life..we lived in the middle of the booming metropolis and we were never short on crime...whenever i would walk through the neighborhood alone...and a car would approach...i would instinctively start dragging a leg and making a face...i remember thinking clearly that swiping a tard would probably be less fun, much less raping one, so that's what i did..

yeah, go ahead and laugh at me if you must..i don't mind...i'm still alive people, it worked!! and if you are the kind of sicko who would make fun of those of us who appear "different", know this...we may actually have you outwitted..

Posted by shoe at 09:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 11, 2005

photo safari

driving to the flats yesterday, i was struck by one simple thought...

i've really got it pretty good..

okay, crap ass picture here, i should have gotten out of the car, but here it is...mini stonehenge ..a 3/4 replica.. in the heart of the hill country.

wanna tell me we texans don't have culture?

the boys were soaking in their favorite swimming hole for hours...

i enjoyed a few adult beverages and the solitude... it's rare to have the flats all to yourself, sweet sunday...

i've lived in great big towns, and tiny po dunk towns, and i believe i can see beauty in almost anything...but where i live now..well, there's just no straining to see it..

Posted by shoe at 06:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 09, 2005


4 cups of coffee and almost with you people...

norman was my first dog. i got him in the summer of 93, after i graduated UT and got my first job. an internship in the heart of god's country, Wyoming. i had to rent my home from texas on the phone. i moved by ups...that's right..college furniture could all fit into small boxes, so i just shipped it door to door..

i was shocked to arrive and learn we lived two doors down from a meat processor. the night i arrived to my new home, i was disturbed to see a butcher standing outside, bloodied apron..bloodied knife, standing in front of what looked like a wyoming chainsaw massacre...hacked up animal bits everywhere and a wall of wild animal corpses hanging on hooks. welcome to the neighborhood!

the whole time we lived there norman was forever dragging home massive deer and elk rib cages and such. it was nasty, but norman became a connoisseur of wild game, so we didn't complain. we also hiked daily in the small mountain range behind our home, so norman was constantly chasing elk and deer and antelope through the forest. i think it made him feel like a big man to return home to butcher's alley and chomp down on one of those elusive beasts..

norman went through his retirement years in illinois. although he drove those poor people nuts. in texas, we buy property and we fence it in. you keep your arms and legs on that side or we shoot em off. plain and simple. not so in illinois, not where we lived at least. it was a tiny farm town and 80%, probably fence free.

so norman continued to run like he was a mountain dog. he never could relate to city dogs. he just wanted to find the nearest river and damn near drown himself.

true was born on all saints day...when we went to the car to go to the hospital it was halloween. i opened the trunk to put in my bag and norman jumped in. ready to bring home that brother, i guess.

he was a sweet dog around the kids. very mild mannered. very protective. norman was the alpha, but either he didn't know we weren't dogs or he thought he was human..

true's first word was "norman". it was a natural for him to call that dog. we all talked to norman like he was family, and i guess true knew the rest of us would never shut up. every where that boy went, so did norman. true used to say he and norman were "brudders" before alex was even on the horizon.

yesterday, we were driving by a cemetery and true asked if norman was buried there. ouch. i told him the vet said he was buried in the country, but it's not like a cemetery with a stone or anything, we can't visit there. but true says norman should be with us and norman should have a stone..something more of norman around than just pictures.. i know how he feels.

so today we're making a stone for our garden that says norman, a place between the sandbox and the slide where the boys can reflect on younger years, when it was 'dem and 'dare dog, brudders..

Posted by shoe at 12:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 08, 2005

of lice and men..

i try to put a happy face on my life's turmoils when i can...but i've been involved in a battle over the last few weeks, a hairy one...i've struggled to keep it from seeping here..but i can no longer, and shoot, i don't have much else to talk about.

my boys have come home from their last four visitations with their dad with headlice. i'm not just being hateful...literally, they go two weeks with no lice, see dad, come home with lice, we de-lice, and then two weeks later, they reappear.

it has been a nightmare. i already do an ungodly amount of laundry sans lice. this is nuts. add to that each lice kit cost $20, i've been through at least eight of em with all the summertime fun they've been having.

my ex said they didn't have lice and hung up on me. repeatedly. in fact, i think the lice wars are some of the only discussions we've had over the last few months. finally, since the fourth was a long visitation, they hatched at dad's this time, and wonder of wonders-he noticed..

when he brought them home wednesday, he said he wouldn't be taking them for visitation anymore, too much trouble. you'd think it would be less trouble to rid your other child of lice and think about some clean living...oh well, we just never could think alike.

he won't be missed by me, but i'm sad for my boys..they really don't have a clue how half assed he is towards them.

on the upside, i read on my lice remover kit instructions that headlice, bodylice and pubic lice (crabs) are all the same thing. then i realized that the saddest outcome of the lice wars would be if i somehow contract my first case of crabs even though i can't remember the last time i got laid.

i don't care if the closet demons are chomping off their legs, those boys are not getting in my bed. i have enough problems..

Posted by shoe at 10:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

i'm not getting a good feeling about this...

they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. if that's the case, i may have very well outed myself.

if you feel so inclined, look around, or save some time and take my word...i don't get out much. i take my time with my kids very seriously, there's never enough of it. plus, i have had some doozies for dates post divorce..oh yeah, eric was kind enough to highlight that for me.. thanks, buddy.. can you twist that knife just a little to the left?

now that i live in a state of life pretty much running me..i sometimes forget what it was like in my fly by the seat of my pants days. children change all that. you never know when somebody's gonna get the throw ups and trash all your plans. spontaneity got traded for flexibility a long time ago.

plus, two boys at 4 and 6 can wear out anyone..i don't exactly have a line at the door of people dying to take them off my hands. babysitters are my crack cocaine..god love em..

the up and coming crawlin' thru n'awlins has been gnawing at me like a bad habit. it won't go away. i told red and she was down. i told mean jean of mississippi, and she said she'd come. i called my mom and said i was thinking of going to a blog meet in new orleans and she said, "Why? to meet all those losers who put their whole lives on the internet?"


i guess so. told you that woman was opinionated. i think she's prolly on to me. called me today and said she was expecting to keep the boys while i'm in nola. hells yeah, psychotic mommy mind games... how i learned from the master...

i bet she's a mere clickity clack from finding this loser..she's good like that.

Posted by shoe at 12:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 07, 2005

soft targets

my heart goes out to londoners..i'm sick for your loss and your newly revived fear.

mainly i'm just sick. i don't know the answer. i don't know half the questions. i do feel strongly that a population that declares it's total lack of value of any human life deserves to have it's life snuffed out.


goodbye, wretched terrorists. create all the diversions you wish, we know where you live, and we are coming to take another giant dump in your backyard.. you will lose and our soft targets are worth dying for

Posted by shoe at 11:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 06, 2005

Envy Me

i can't lie, it's a dull freakin life sometimes...why else would i be lurking around out here anyway? uh huh, problems people, i never said i was perfect...

but is it just me being hypersensitive, or did anyone else notice me getting gunned down in blogdom yesterday?? all that why have babies talk? depressing, folks. put a freakin smile on already and stop pouting about things that you have no control over..

it was really hard not to take offense at this..
"if your kid is at day care every day while you work for ten hours, trying to prove you're as good as a man, you're a lousy mother."

JESUS, where to start...

1. i don't know a mom who has to work who wouldn't gladly stay home if it were possible

2. i'm thankful to my day care, which is also a church, they are an important aspect of socialization for my children. they teach. my kids are a fuckload smarter than same aged kids at our church who are homeschooled. go fuck yourself. daycare ain't evil, it's preschool.

3. bite me on the trying to be as good as a man...retarded...successful women understand their differences and accentuate them.. they in no way try to be as a man..i call bullshit.

4. the recurring theme of "women power" in blogdom is inane..i highly doubt the teen & below poverty pregnancies are due to die hard steinem followers. i am the norm..i've known lots of women and never met ONE that was involved in the "women's movement". we all just work because we have to. sorry if you thought we were trying to prove something, we just love expensive shoes.

5. my kids spend too much time in daycare and i love my work.. it is really rewarding. that doesn't make me a lousy mother.. i think it makes me exceptional. my boys know that when the sun comes up, there is work to do..that you take care of yourself and you respect your friends and neighbors...that to be a burden on anyone else is wrong, most of all, to be a burden on this country, to which you owe dearly. freedom makes you gluttonous, sorry peeps, but look at the fats.

6. a 40 hour work week does translate into a ten hour day care stint for your child. sorry, but that's the minimum most of us here in reality can work if we want to qualify for health insurance and all those other wonderful things that help us to be responsible parents.

i'm glad the pig isn't going to procreate. my boys would whip the living shit out of their flaming ignorant asses.

sorry for the rant, but it was personal.

Posted by shoe at 08:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 05, 2005

when your strength is your weakness...

i can hear her as clear as a bell..my mother, no tact..."stop hanging around mike, joe and jacob..they're never going to amount to anything.. all they care about is smoking pot and getting drunk and drawing pictures...please..soar with the eagles, or flock with the turkeys...your choice"

my mother loved to pose the no choice choice..being the stereotypical baby boomer, she was always polarized.. this way or no way, incredibly inflexible..incredibly hyper judgemental..but then i wonder, what were your judgements when you read the first part? agreement? did it sound so normal you don't know why i'm bothering to write about it? exactly, and that's why...

my friend the doper's first job out of college was working for a political action committee. he wrote an article (decriminalization of weed) for them that was picked up and published in Playboy magazine. two years out of college. that pretty much dwarfed the success of my other peers two years out of school, especially those struggling to be published..he's still at it.

my friend the drinker got a four year degree selling "kegarators". it was a good business for him. he also ran a beer co op in college, where there was always a fresh keg of really good beer (anchor steam, liberty ale, microbrews..) and you tallied every pint and payed 50 cents a beer, and hanging out at his house was the place to be anyway.. the economics were just a bonus, none of us were 21 at the time, so just to have free flowing beer was the main perk. the beer snobbery came at a cheap price.

he bought a brewery and makes (sorry i'm prejudiced) the best beer in texas. completely dusts the success of many of our peers.

my friend the artist, just never could stop.. he got a masters in fine art and then a PHD. he's painted the labels for the other friend's beer. last i caught up with him, he was teaching art out at one of those giant california universities.

three people, that i gotta say, my mom nailed the description dead on early in knowing them. except one major thing she missed and i believe will continue to miss...the outcome: it's not so much the muse, as it is the drive that determines success.

one man's coke is another man's cocaine, and another man's cancer..

not every bad action will cause a negative reaction, and lacking that, is it really bad?

Posted by shoe at 06:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 04, 2005

Do it yourself day..

Happy Fourth of July, friends and neighbors...

i had planned to write an exciting piece about some of the most independent thinkers of my times. boy was it going to be good too.. unfortunately, i have a special way of screwing myself each 4th, and why let good plans get in the way of the inevitable?

one year, when i was living in illinois...i went to my friend's family gathering at their farm house. i pulled up, and no one was there...ghost town...so i started to back up. that's when i heard it, arp arp arp, little pugsley was stuck under my front passenger side tire. OOOOPS...

just try to find a vet on the 4th...yikes, people...they are on the lake like everybody else...i sat traumatized while pugsley's stomach swelled up like a watermelon. once the family all returned, we were all amazed by pugsley's mama who was an RN and kept her cool and pulled him through.

sweet freaking people...never held it against me, even pugsley didn't treat me differently after that.

this year, it's been the heat wave and furniture stripper... the chemical smell was so bad yesterday and kept gathering in my garage...i set up a crosswind, opened the back door and garage door and shut all the screens... worked like a charm too.. except in my exhaustion and delirium, my ac went out, and i never even noticed..

Hell, 80 felt cool after being outside in worse all afternoon...it was about 3:45 this morning when i woke up swimming in sweat, and lingered out to the hall. fuck, 84 degrees, inside...Happy do it yourself day again...(at least i'm not playing vet this year)

it ran all night but it's not cooling. i turned it off and back on again, i hate when that's how the repair man fixes shit... but i won't be able to hang out once it starts really heating up...enjoy your fun, i'm off to cooler pastures...

Happy Independence Day!!

Posted by shoe at 08:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 03, 2005

weekend stripper

being a single mom, money is always in short supply.. yeah, yeah, i know...don't cry for me, good capitalists are supposed to live on the brink of destruction, isn't that where we find our motivation? i have a sick infatuation with stripping furniture, love to see the old become new again. plus, the economy of taking a piece of garage sale grade furniture and making it the nicest piece you own is super rewarding.. today it's a dresser. oak, my favorite...once i get the doo doo brown old american finish off it, i think i might like it. it weighs about two tons and has oriental ornamental crap all over it. i'm stripping all that shit too. no it's not an antique, old as me maybe, but by no means worth a dime in it's current condition.. between the heat wave and the chemicals, it's possible i will be light many braincells by mid afternoon. i bet you won't be able to tell..i hardly bring a full deck to my blog as it is...

have a fine lazy sunday, folks..

Posted by shoe at 08:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 02, 2005

My three sons...

well since i can't wow you with the secret to a successful marriage, ahem, i know nothing of the nature...let me spin you a tale of the end...a classic tale of better, not bitter..

respect is such a fading element in our culture. today as i was tooling downtown on my way to home depot, i was met head on with a funeral procession. i tried to pull over to the right to stop but the flood of cars whizzing by in the slow lane was too much. finally, the light i'd just come through turned red and the traffic subsided and i was able to stop and put it in park.

long procession. once the light changed again here came the nimrods, putting along at as if they were invisible. hey dickweed, we see you...when your wife dies we hope some jackass cruises right by as if it were any sunny day too.

respect is just classic admiration, is it not? boy, i have a lot of issues with respect these days. for instance, the fad of wearing the thong underwear with the low rise pants? sorry to sound like an old fogie, but my mom would have never let me out of the house like that...she practically called me a whore for dressing like an eighties geek. yet, judging by the perfect 18 year old ass i ogled at home depot, i'm guessing it ain't a question of respect at their house?

lose respect in a relationship and i beg to argue that the relationship is lost. yep, there's forgiveness, but there never is reconstruction. just the sense that you got past it, and with all due respect, that's never enough.

i won't bore you with the grimey details of my own marriage's demise, but i will leave you this...my aha moment came in a flash when i realized my ex left little to be admired...love lost, sorry, but i didn't marry to have a third child. be a man, do something.

and for all you hunkalicious real men out there...even tho i know life sucks prison dick some days, slaving away for what again? you know, you do it for your family and that's what counts. you have my respect, and their's too.

Posted by shoe at 06:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 01, 2005

performance anxiety


i am a believer. when the pressure is on you better step up to the plate or that mother of no mercy, regret, will surely step in and have your lunch...

woulda, coulda, shoulda..the saddest phrase i know too well..

that being said, i'm pretty uninteresting tonight...big red was off today, so i manned the ship alone, and that bitch nearly went down...i closed up at 4 and took the boys to the river.

i sat in a whirlpool on a pink raft spinning around and around and around...the kids are exhausted and that only heightens my satisfaction with my nimble-minded laziness...way to go me!

floating while being pelted by two water guns will take a toll, people. imagine my surprise to return home here to find all y'all lovechops having a surprise party for me. mind if i change first?

oh, you mean it's an intervention.... i freakin knew it.

Posted by shoe at 08:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack